Hi my name is Peter Souvlis and this is my story.
I lay awake at nights thinking about the world, about the universe and about the one man who for some reason God has chosen to punish me night after night day after day.
I went on a spiritual and intellectual journey to try and find the answer and this journey took me to the deepest parts of the earth and my soul. Just as I was about to give up my close friend Rory 'Knyz' McInnes spoke to me one day through a large grey box in my mind which reminded me suspiciously of a steam window.
He said a name and only a name: Steven Hawking...
I deliberated for days on this vital clue to unlocking how to defeat my own personal devil and then i realised that the life of steven hawking was the key. So I did some research...
Steven hawking, before becoming refined to a wheel chair had sex with 3 women. One was a normal woman from new zealand, average looking, nothing special about her. He just wanted to know what it felt like to fuck someone normal. The woman became pregnant and the world was graced with the birth of Toonz.
Then to satisfy his intellectual fantasies, he went on a quest to have sex with the smartest woman he could find in order to create the ultimate mind. He was successful and the world once again was blessed as Kram popped out of the womb.
Finally just before he was refined to a wheel chair he got a taste for the orient. Unable to get there due to his disability he downloaded some legendary Asian pornography and through nothing short of a miracle Steven Hawking impregnated the Asian porn star over the internet purely with the power of his mind.... The child was born with the combined powers of the internet and the greatest mind of our millennium. This creature, this pure spawn of evil has been known by many names...
But we know him as JAIRS.
So tonight as i rest my head on my pillow and gaze up at the stars and reflecting on another brutal night of destruction at the hands of this retarded spawn of a porn star and a cripple... I can't help but wonder why god chose him to wield such a power, but then it is not my purpose to understand it just to obey it.
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